09/10/2026
🚨 PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FROM ASSIST ACCOUNTING 🚨
The scammers have somehow gotten ahold of our office phone number.
This was their first mistake.
Their second mistake was calling an accounting office outside of tax season when we have time.
We would like to formally announce that professionalism has been temporarily suspended.
If you call our office and hear any of the following, please do not be alarmed:
📞 “Assist Accounting & Crematorium. You kill ’em, we bill ’em.”
📞 heavy breathing followed by whispering “We’ve been expecting you.”
📞 “Before we continue, please be advised that Barb has released the raccoons.”
There is also a very real possibility someone will answer and immediately begin speaking in an accent they absolutely cannot maintain.
We cannot predict what will happen.
Management has lost control of the situation.
So if you are an actual client and call the office, just say:
👉 “I HAVE TAXES.”
We will immediately return to our regularly scheduled professionalism.
Probably.
To the scammers:
Please understand that you have accidentally selected a building full of people who spent January through April being screamed at about W-2s, dependents, refunds, extensions, missing 1099s, and why somebody’s cousin “got way more back last year.”
We have been forged in fire.
You cannot hurt us.
You cannot confuse us.
And unfortunately for you…
we have caller ID, caffeine, unresolved rage, and approximately seven months until tax season gets bad again.
Call back.
We dare you.
💀📞🧾
— Assist Accounting
Professional tax preparation. Questionable phone etiquette.
Disclaimer: Actual clients will continue receiving excellent professional service. Scammers will be receiving whatever character Ashley feels like becoming when the phone rings.
