Sapling Wealth & Wellness

Why, as a financial planner, am I reading this book?

Because money is essentially a tool for survival, safety, and autonomy, it triggers the same right-brain circuits that were wired during your first two + years of life.

Roughly 40-50% of adults struggle with an insecure attachment style.

I see it all the time in my work: People don't just manage money; they attach to it.

According to neurobiologist Dr. Allan Schore, our early relationships wire our "right brain" to handle stress and safety.

Decades later, those same circuits light up when we look at a bank statement.

Anxious Attachment (15%-20%): Money = Connection. You might over-give to keep people close, struggle to say "no" to expensive social plans, or obsessively check your balance to soothe your anxiety.

Avoidant Attachment (20-25%): This shows up in two ways. You’re either the "Hyper-Independent" (using money as a shield so you never have to rely on anyone) OR the "Financial Ostrich" (ignoring statements and "ghosting" your debt because looking at it feels like an overwhelming threat). 🙈

Disorganized Attachment (3-5%): The "Financial Rollercoaster." It’s a mix of Anxious and Avoidant drives. You might feel a constant “push-pull” with money, such as cycles of financial chaos, avoidance, and emotional spending. This is the category I personally resonated with. The work of repairing my attachment patterns, rather than avoiding them, ultimately became one of my greatest strengths and a core reason I was drawn into this field.

The takeaway: You aren't "bad with money." You might just be dysregulated. Healing your finances often starts with healing your nervous system.

Have you ever noticed your spending habits change when you’re stressed in a relationship?

In June 2025, I started using Monarch Money as the foundation for every financial plan I build.

(Pic is of a demo budget/user, not mine)

Here’s what became very clear:

𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠
Not by a little. Often by hundreds or thousands per month. Memory-based budgeting is unreliable. Data is kinder than shame.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
Without knowing what actually comes in and goes out, projections are guesses. Cash flow is the engine. Assets are the passengers.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬
And if it doesn’t, it shows us where and how to redirect, without moralizing or restriction-based budgeting.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠
Narrow framing = making decisions in isolation (“Can I afford this one thing right now?”)
Broad framing = seeing how today’s choices affect the whole system over time.
This reduces susceptibility to sales tactics and fear-based advice.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐬
When people don’t know their numbers, they default to doing nothing or clinging to familiar choices. Clear cash flow creates psychological safety.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲
Not because everything is perfect, but because uncertainty is reduced.

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞
This is not a control or restriction. This is about awareness, feedback, and course correction.

Financial wellness has no shortcuts or hacks.

Cash flow provides a clearer picture and better decisions.

I’ve been noticing more conversations about 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭, especially as market volatility has returned. Rather than responding to individuals, I want to name the broader pattern, particularly because it can disproportionately affect people who are new to Canada and those whose nervous systems are shaped by chronic stress or trauma.

Behavioural finance shows that humans are far more sensitive to losses than gains. Losing feels more painful than gaining feels rewarding. This is known as loss aversion, and it sits at the core of prospect theory.

Research shows that loss-averse individuals are more likely to choose permanent life insurance over term. Permanent products feel owned, guaranteed, and controllable. Walking away feels like a loss. For people shaped by chronic stress or uncertainty, that sense of certainty can feel like safety.

One of my professors once said that individual choices aren’t really choices at all, but reactions to how choices are framed.

This becomes especially important when there is a conflict of interest between an advisor’s compensation and a client’s long-term well-being. Narrow framing, emotional guarantees, and the absence of long-term comparisons amplify loss aversion and push people toward decisions that feel safe in the moment.

The irony is that in doing so, clients often perpetuate the very situation they were trying to escape over the long term, losing significant amounts of money through whole life policies that were sold for the wrong reasons and without full transparency.

This does not mean permanent life insurance is always inappropriate. It means real choice only exists when decisions are presented transparently, within a full financial picture, and without fear-based framing.

Some of my clients jokingly call me “mom.”

And just perhaps… it’s not entirely wrong. 😊

Because when life takes over, finances often fall to the back burner.

Between parenting, work, health, and everything else, our brains are making thousands of decisions every single day. Some sources estimate this number at around 35,000 (though the exact figure is hard to measure). Either way, the reality is the same: the mental load is enormous.

No wonder we feel overwhelmed.

Decision fatigue is real.

And when it hits, money tasks are often the first thing we avoid, or we start relying on mental shortcuts and quick heuristics instead of thoughtful decisions.

That is where wealth planning comes in.

A big part of the job of a financial planner is to create a steady process, reduce the mental burden, and make sure nothing important falls through the cracks, so clients can feel supported, organized, and grounded again.

Clients don’t have to hold it all alone. Great financial planners build safety into the plan through structure, clarity, and ongoing support.

P.S. This photo is of my kids, taken just a few days into the COVID lockdown and about two weeks after Violet was born. It was one of those moments that reminded me how quickly life can change, and how easily finances can fade into the background when you are simply trying to get through the day.

I learned something powerful from a friend over brunch today, and I felt inspired to share it because it applies so beautifully to financial healing, too.

The concept is called dialectical abstinence, and it comes from addiction counselling.

It means holding two things at once:

A full commitment to change.

And compassion for the reality that setbacks can happen.

The goal is still abstinence, but a slip is not treated as failure.

It’s treated as a moment to notice, learn, and return.

I think this is exactly how money healing works.

It’s not just about overspending. It can also show up as over-saving, rigid control, fear, avoidance, or shame-based perfectionism.

You can be committed to spending more intentionally, saving consistently, or changing long-held patterns…

And if you slip one month, it doesn’t erase your progress.

Resilience is repair, practiced over many years, through perseverance and return.

P.S. This was me about 4 years ago, in the middle of trying, slipping, trying again. I’m grateful I kept coming back.

Happy Friday!

Well, this one was a last-minute deal, but here it is. I made it.

Take a peek at our monthly newsletter.

https://mailchi.mp/saplingwealth/your-november-financial-wellness-notes-50088

This year started off incredibly busy, in the best way.

We jumped right into delivering financial plans, doing business planning for 2026, and holding a big vision for the end of 2026 into 2027. A vision that, if done right, could create real impact across the financial planning industry in Canada (more info to come in a few months 😉).

This weekend is about slowing down, re-energizing with the girls, and feeding the soul. Creativity, play, and being child-like are what make the work possible.

When we don’t nourish that part of ourselves, it’s hard to move anything forward.

I’ve got my retirement plan sorted.

If all else fails, I’ll be the local kombucha grandma. 🫙

Follow me for more wealth planning advice.

But in all seriousness, what passions feed your soul and could also bring in a little bit of income in retirement if desired?

Money behaviours don’t come out of nowhere.
They’re shaped by history, relationships, and survival.

Every client I work with has a money story. They’re all different, but they all exist, and they tend to surface when it finally feels safe to talk about what money has been carrying emotionally. So in this article, I share mine, because it’s the one I know best.

This piece is for deeply curious, open-minded people who want lasting change. I explore how learning to feel again can restore joy, purpose, and Self-leadership, using personal reflection only to make the patterns easier to recognize.

If you find yourself pausing, feeling, or questioning as you read, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

Healing Money Beliefs with IFS - Sapling Wealth & Wellness Money beliefs often form early and run deep. Learn how IFS helps shift scarcity patterns and create a healthier relationship with money.

A gentle reminder: the Canadian tax system is not nearly as complicated as it’s often made to sound.

Yes, there are rules. Yes, there are nuances. But for most people, the fundamentals are actually quite straightforward. Complexity is often layered on top by podcasts, sales narratives, or professionals who benefit from making things feel overwhelming so that a specific product looks like the “smart” solution.

Unfortunately, people carrying financial trauma or gaps in financial education are more vulnerable to fear-based messaging, “save on taxes” promises, and get-rich-quick narratives that bypass rational thinking by activating urgency and survival responses.

Simplicity is usually your best friend.

Clear goals, appropriate account selection, and an understanding of trade-offs will get you much further than chasing strategies you don’t fully understand.

If something feels confusing, urgent, or too good to be true, that’s often a sign to pause, not to act.

And if you ever want a second opinion, or simply want someone to walk through your options without selling you a product, you’re always welcome to reach out.

Clarity beats complexity. Every time.